Preparing for take-off

Right now I'm sitting in Erik and Hilary's house in Seattle. I've had a wonderful week here exploring Seattle and its environs with Hilary, Erik, and Sarah Shepard. It's exciting to watch especially Hilary and Erik begin to put down roots in this town, and to see the first tendrils of community beginning to sprout up around them! Not only have they settled in with their friends John and Freddie, but they are beginning to meet people in the area (ask Hilary about the Magical Dog of Friendship). Last night we went to a contra dance (my first West of the Rockies), and I saw several people who I've danced with before. Contra is amazing this way!

Tomorrow I fly out across the Pacific Ocean for the first time in my life. I'm excited, and a bit nervous. Here's the itinerary:
Mar 7th - 10th - Fiji
Mar 10th - 17th - North Island of New Zealand
Mar 17th - 23rd - South Island of New Zealand
Mar 23rd - Apr 7th - Australia
Apr 8th - Apr 17th - Thailand
Apr 17th - May 6th - China
May 7th - May 14th - Hawaii

I'm really hoping this trip is one long exciting plunge into lands unknown to me, but while I prepare to strike out onto my first solo adventure, some of my old fears crop up and vocalize in my head: you're a terrible planner! You don't know how to travel on your own! You won't know some of the languages! You don't have a "purpose" for doing this! Why are you doing this!?! It's hard being the battlefield for the internal war between the person who I think I am and the person I think I should be. Travel, in particular, has always been hard in this way for me. I think that up until now these internal fearful internal struggles have been the main thing which has kept me from traveling abroad. Part of me knows that I just need to dive in. I know, for instance, that no amount of planning that I do will prepare me for every eventuality, and in reality, I HAVE been planning for this trip. I already have a place to stay for my 3 days in Fiji, as well as my 1st day in New Zealand. I need to remember that what's really important (and what I tend to do in practice) is to allow myself to be swept up in the experience without reservations or worries, and to enjoy where I am at in each moment.